“To the one who holds the self more dear, entrust its care.”
Dao De Jing 13:13-15
Last week my pastor theorized that the perennial presence of a doomsday prophecy such as the current so-called Mayan Calendar prediction relates to people’s desire for a new beginning. But before that new beginning, there must be destruction. He likened this to spiritual transformation that relies on the death of ego, the death of self.
Though intrigued, two distinct feelings arose in me: a sadness that transformation so often focuses on our destruction which seems to deny the goodness of being human
and the second, a sweet and certain sense of the divine presence. This tender presence encompassed a delight in our humanness and a compassion in the difficult task we humans have to live well with our complex self. It seemed as if some good voice answered my sadness. The topic of self often brings to mind Jesus’ words of the Great Commandment which is to love God with our heart, soul, and mind, and love our neighbor as our self (Matt.22:39). We need a healthy self to love well. I finished Huston Smith’s autobiography, Tales of Wonder –Adventures Chasing the Divine this week and was reminded how mysterious, important, and big this topic is among the great faith traditions. Nearly every reflection or conversation Smith had with great teachers of Christianity, Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam, or Primal religions included some reference to the human self.
Thomas Merton wrote of our true self as opposed to our false self. The Dalai Lama spoke in response to a question of the afterlife saying, “… self does continue from lifetime to life time, but it is so different from what we usually mean by self that it is better not to speak of it.”1 This gave me pause with my goal to write about self, but words of the Buddha helped me to proceed. Buddhism contains the idea of no-self. Smith told the story of the seeker asking Buddha if individuals had a self and Buddha refused to answer2. When a disciple later asked him why the silence, the Buddha answered that this man wanted only a theory rather than helping or healing. I decided to press on within the desire for this blog on self to be helping and healing.
Spiritual growth requires practice and discipline which can slide into perfectionism and self-rejection reinforced by or expressed as legalistic religion. However, I have witnessed the spiritually mature among the faith traditions to exhibit a gentleness about themselves and others. A consistent theme of ancient wisdom is to be aware, present, and honest about ourselves. For me this honesty requires faith that I will be loved no matter what and it requires me to accept the grace I desperately need
We humans in our early psychological and faith development benefit from rules which in maturity we may need to abandon for the higher goal of love in the complexity of life. It’s tricky – this business of growing. People love animals and children for their authenticity and freedom to be what they are. Still, the force of my grand daughter’s anger in a two-year old tantrum feels like the eruption of a volcano. Family, culture, society and perhaps religion will give her necessary boundaries and self control, but all institutions paint with a broad stroke and suppression results. And the truth is, all of us have our two year old wildness within us. Spiritual growth may start with rules that do not allow the wilder side of our emotions and nature, but pressing on may lead to wisdom and compassion that embraces and integrates the goodness of our many complex selves.
The poets know this wisdom. Rumi, the great 13th Century Sufi in his poem “The Guest House”3 admonishes us to welcome all the emotions that arrive each day –“even a crowd of sorrows” to see them as “guides”. Mary Oliver in her poem, “Wild Geese”4 speaks of “letting your soft animal body love what it loves” and receiving the world’s offer to “your imagination, calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting--.” We are complex with many “guests” and each heart beats with a harsh and exciting wildness.
In your spiritual journey, may you integrate the many streams of yourself so that you run with the energy of a strong and rushing river.
1-Smith, p. 140-141
2-Smith p. 141.
3- Jalalludin Rumi’s
http://allpoetry.com/poem/8534703-The_Guest_House-by-Mewlana_Jalaluddin_Rumi
4- Mary Oliver : http://www.rjgeib.com/thoughts/geese/geese.html
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